Dear Non-Existent Readers ;)
I really hate love. It's so confusing. I was meant to post on Sunday, saying how happy I was, and then something terrible happened. Well, I forgot, and then something even possibly worse happened on Tuesday. About love, obviously. Yes, you probably guessed it already. My boyfriend and I broke up. And then got back together again. Let me explain it from the beginning...
So, I had this sneaking suspicion that he didn't love me anymore. I don't know what it was, whether it was how he seemed to be backing off a lot, or how he treated me differently then before. Because of this, I texted one of my guy best friends, who was also friends with my boyfriend. He's good at advice, see. Anyway, I told him that I'm just not sure that he loves me anymore, and my guy friend said these exact words: "Okay. he definitely doesn't love you as much as he used to. You used to be all he could talk about, but now, it's just not the same."
Anyway, so on Tuesday, I confronted him, but, being the nervous person I am, I slipped up and told him that my guy friend said that he didn't love me anymore. Later on, my friend and I told him exactly what we said, and my boyfriend (by the way, I'm not trying to sound obnoxious when I say my boyfriend, I'm just don't want to say names, so I'm saying that instead) said that maybe I should trust him and walked off. i apologized to him, but he was still angry at me. Then, he broke up with me because apparently, I don't trust him, and I deserve better. Which is nice of him to say, because he thinks I can do better than him, but it still hurt.
When I got home, I grabbed the ice cream, turned on the music, and cried. Cried so hard that I I couldn't breathe anymore, and I felt like I would never be happy again. That type of crying. It made me send him a text, saying so much for forever. That text turned into a confession, a lot of long typing and, after a while, we were back. Back to what we were only a few hours before.
You know, everyone kept asking me if I was happy, and i expected, just as much as everyone else, that i would answer yes to that question. And, don't get me wrong, I was happy. But I was still sad. Do you understand what I mean? I felt like my heart was still being stitched up, and there was still a lot of anger inside of me. I'm not sure why.
Yes. That's what has happened in my life recently. Oh, and my poor guy friend and boyfriend weren't friends at the beginning of today. My guy friend felt so bad that he didn't sleep and cried all night, and when I tried to get my boyfriend to be friends with him again, he wouldn't listen. So that was really depressing. But when I came down from my OnTrac, they were talking, so I stood against a pole, and listened. I only heard them say mates and shake hands, but even so, I was so happy that I hadn't ruined their friendship. I'm such a silly girl.
Well, that's it for now, readers. Goodnight, sleep tight and definitely don't let those bed bug bites.
JBass :)
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
Friday, 8 March 2013
Sick Of What People Say
Dear readers,
So this is my blog. About me. Majoring in being a drama queen. I stress about a lot of things, and this blog is for those teens who can relate, who want to vent out some of their frustration, who totally agree with what I'm complaining or being happy about. Now, I'm not saying the whole blog will be about complaining. I'm not the type of person who sits here being like, "um, my dress isn't fitting, and the parties on in two hours." No, there just all the feelings a teenager, like myself, feel through their teenage years. Right now, I'm fourteen, so your probably thinking, "Girl, you know nothing. Seriously, I think you need help." Well, I don't know. Maybe I do know nothing? But maybe you can relate to me? You never know. How will you know until you read it, right?
So this will be my first post. Right now, I'm really angry. Like, I feel like taking a round on the boxing bag.... With my head.... And the boxing bag is actually a brick wall. And I know I said that I don't want to complain too much, but I seriously need to vent right now. Get the anger out of my system, you know?
So, I'm going out with/dating/whatever you call it, a great guy. He's amazing, sweet, nice, cute, attractive, best eyes, best voice, amazing laugh, cutest smile, the whole package. And I know, that all sounds good. Nothing to be angry about there, right?
Well, think again. My friends have been really annoying me. They say that I'm too young to love someone, that I wouldn't know what love is if it slapped me in the face, that love doesn't exist at my age and that I'm only fourteen, so I don't know what love is. I just am so angry at people saying that. I think I know my own feelings. They really don't think that they know what I'm feeling, if I feel love. And I can tell you that I really do.
There is no age restriction on love. Don't let people say there is. You can love someone whether your ten, twelve, thirteen, sixteen, thirty-nine and ninety-four. No-one, in the entire universe, is allowed to say differently. Unless their actually apart of you and know how you feel, like some sort of Siamese twin, or psychic cousin, they really have no right to say that about you. If anyone says that, tell them to go stuff it, because they are honestly wrong. This guy that I'm with, I honestly feel like I love him.When i see him, i want to go jumping on mountains of marshmallows while riding ponies that are the colors of rainbows, and then go swim in a giant fountain of melted chocolate. And sometimes, I'll just be sitting there, and I'll think of him, and I'll just smile for no reason. Some people look at me funny, because there's really nothing funny happening. Just seeing him makes me excited and makes me feel like I'm walking on Cloud 9. Is this not love? Is this just "hormones'? Because, to me, it really does feel like love. if you've ever loved someone, I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say, love isn't just hormones.
And then there's those people that say mean stuff about him, like that he's weird. That doesn't annoy me as much, because he is a bit strange at times, but so am I, and I think, if he wasn't weird, I probably wouldn't love him as much. I realize that that's there own personal opinion on him. It doesn't affect my own opinion on his fine self. But please don't be so mean. If you do that to your friend, then just stop for a little bit, and think that maybe that's one of the reasons they love the other person. If you say things like "he's/she's going to break your heart", and you really feel like it's true, then I see you as a good friend. Your worrying about your friend getting hurt, and your trying to warn her/him.
Okay, so that's my rant session over with. Tell me what you think? Do you think loves just a big joke at my age? Or do you agree with what I'm saying about it feeling right? Do you have friends who stay stuff about your relationship, like that he's weird, or anything in general? Just write it below in the comments, I want to see who can relate with me. I need some advise guys.
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed my ranting.
JBass
So this is my blog. About me. Majoring in being a drama queen. I stress about a lot of things, and this blog is for those teens who can relate, who want to vent out some of their frustration, who totally agree with what I'm complaining or being happy about. Now, I'm not saying the whole blog will be about complaining. I'm not the type of person who sits here being like, "um, my dress isn't fitting, and the parties on in two hours." No, there just all the feelings a teenager, like myself, feel through their teenage years. Right now, I'm fourteen, so your probably thinking, "Girl, you know nothing. Seriously, I think you need help." Well, I don't know. Maybe I do know nothing? But maybe you can relate to me? You never know. How will you know until you read it, right?
So this will be my first post. Right now, I'm really angry. Like, I feel like taking a round on the boxing bag.... With my head.... And the boxing bag is actually a brick wall. And I know I said that I don't want to complain too much, but I seriously need to vent right now. Get the anger out of my system, you know?
So, I'm going out with/dating/whatever you call it, a great guy. He's amazing, sweet, nice, cute, attractive, best eyes, best voice, amazing laugh, cutest smile, the whole package. And I know, that all sounds good. Nothing to be angry about there, right?
Well, think again. My friends have been really annoying me. They say that I'm too young to love someone, that I wouldn't know what love is if it slapped me in the face, that love doesn't exist at my age and that I'm only fourteen, so I don't know what love is. I just am so angry at people saying that. I think I know my own feelings. They really don't think that they know what I'm feeling, if I feel love. And I can tell you that I really do.
There is no age restriction on love. Don't let people say there is. You can love someone whether your ten, twelve, thirteen, sixteen, thirty-nine and ninety-four. No-one, in the entire universe, is allowed to say differently. Unless their actually apart of you and know how you feel, like some sort of Siamese twin, or psychic cousin, they really have no right to say that about you. If anyone says that, tell them to go stuff it, because they are honestly wrong. This guy that I'm with, I honestly feel like I love him.When i see him, i want to go jumping on mountains of marshmallows while riding ponies that are the colors of rainbows, and then go swim in a giant fountain of melted chocolate. And sometimes, I'll just be sitting there, and I'll think of him, and I'll just smile for no reason. Some people look at me funny, because there's really nothing funny happening. Just seeing him makes me excited and makes me feel like I'm walking on Cloud 9. Is this not love? Is this just "hormones'? Because, to me, it really does feel like love. if you've ever loved someone, I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say, love isn't just hormones.
And then there's those people that say mean stuff about him, like that he's weird. That doesn't annoy me as much, because he is a bit strange at times, but so am I, and I think, if he wasn't weird, I probably wouldn't love him as much. I realize that that's there own personal opinion on him. It doesn't affect my own opinion on his fine self. But please don't be so mean. If you do that to your friend, then just stop for a little bit, and think that maybe that's one of the reasons they love the other person. If you say things like "he's/she's going to break your heart", and you really feel like it's true, then I see you as a good friend. Your worrying about your friend getting hurt, and your trying to warn her/him.
Okay, so that's my rant session over with. Tell me what you think? Do you think loves just a big joke at my age? Or do you agree with what I'm saying about it feeling right? Do you have friends who stay stuff about your relationship, like that he's weird, or anything in general? Just write it below in the comments, I want to see who can relate with me. I need some advise guys.
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed my ranting.
JBass
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